You may be in a relationship with this guy that you love dearly. However, he loves the bottle. Moreover, you have come to realize that nowadays he chooses to spend time drinking instead of spending time with you. Furthermore, you have noticed that he finds it difficult to control his habit of drinking. That makes you think to yourself, “I think my boyfriend has a drinking problem.”
What should you do? What are some of the things you can do to manage the situation?
1. Don’t Panic
Maybe you never thought that your boyfriend could start drinking. Therefore, it has come to you as a shock that he loves the bottle now. So, your first reaction is anger, frustration, and a sense of failure. Or, you may start panicking when he starts getting into trouble with the police because of his drinking habit.
However, do not panic and imagine the worst for your relationship. Furthermore, do not blame yourself that your boyfriend has a drinking problem. Try to stay calm and find out what is going on. Keep saying to yourself, “I am not to blame for Isaac’s behavior. He is responsible for his actions. Drinking is a preventable behavior. Isaac can be helped to stop drinking. I will do my best to help Isaac to stop drinking. I believe that is why I am in this relationship, to help Isaac deal with problems. I love Isaac and I must show my love for him now by giving him the support he needs to overcome this problem. We are in this together. I will be tolerant. I will be kind. I must show practical love now.” Tell yourself that it is your problem too and not just your boyfriend’s problem. Moreover, see yourself as part of the solution so that you will be more willing to help him deal with it.
2. Be Patient
Remind yourself of the times you have been patient with your boyfriend when he did things that you hated. Then, choose to become even more patient so that you can help him to deal with his situation. Say something such as this to yourself, “When Isaac cheated with Yaa, I was patient with him and accepted him back when he apologized. In this situation too, I must be patient.”
3. Manage Your Attitude
Refrain from getting overly angry or critical or else you can push your boyfriend to worsen the situation-he may drink even more as a way to tell you that you cannot control how he should behave or as a way to tell you that “he is the boss in the relationship.” Rather, recognize that your boyfriend is ill and learn to hate his habit of drinking and not the person.
When you are frustrated by his habit and you see that you are getting angry with him, say to yourself, “I must control myself. I don’t hate Isaac. I love Isaac. What I hate is the fact that he drinks. I hate alcohol and what it is doing to my darling! But I must be calm towards him. Isaac is sick. What Isaac needs is help and not criticisms and insults. That will only make matters worse. I still love Isaac.” Constantly reminding yourself of your love for him will help you to put things in their proper perspective so that you will separate the individual from his habit and treat him with respect.
4. Control Your Ego
Some girlfriends start to treat their boyfriends with disdain, look down on them, and talk disrespectfully to them when their boyfriends find themselves in this situation.
So, if you find that you are tempted to act arrogantly towards your boyfriend, try to control your ego. Remind yourself of your love for your boyfriend and continue to respect him so that there will be peace in the relationship. Maintaining peace will increase the chances that he will heed to your requests when you ask him to seek help.
5. Join Al- Anon
Seek the support of Al-Anon. They have experience dealing with alcoholics and they will give you advice and literature which will help you to exert a positive influence on your boyfriend so that he will desire to seek help.
Furthermore, the warmth they show to you will help you to deal with the stress of living with your boyfriend.
6. Pray for Him
“With God all things are possible,” the Bible says in Matthew 19 v 26. God has got the power to transform people and He can transform your boyfriend, if you believe in Him and pray to him in faith. Therefore, intone prayers of supplication for your boyfriend every day. Ask God to touch his heart and mind so that he will see what he is doing to himself and take practical steps to deal with his habit.
God will hear your prayers of intercession and answer them-He will work on the spirit of your boyfriend, and deliver him from his bondage.
If you think to yourself, “I think my boyfriend has a drinking problem,” then you must be patient, try to control your emotions, continue to respect him, seek help when your efforts do not yield fruitful results, and pray seriously for him so that he can change.
There is hope for your boyfriend and for the relationship. So, don’t give up!
Read more about this article at https://hubpages.com/relationships/I-Think-My-Boyfriend-Has-a-Drinking-Problem
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